Artifact Motherhood December 2023

Dear little Loves,

After finishing a year in the classroom and embarking on my second full year of full time teaching, I am more intentional in how we spend our time together. The summer was slow, fulfilling, and rejuvenating. The fall has ushered in new stressors, leading me down a path of humility and embracing silence. But amidst the stress, chaos, and heartache the year wrought, I always find myself coming back to the solitude and stillness of our family–the weekend rhythm of baking and digging deep in the earth, the comforting feelings of snuggling up by a fire. These are the moments I crave when the world seems to be too much: home, stillness, gentleness. 

I sit here leafing through previous letters from this past year, I was struck by their common theme. The beginning of 2023 ushered in the desire to savor moments spent with you, digging deep within myself to be present and still. While I did not have a “word of the year” to strive towards, I did find that I naturally gravitated towards this theme. 

One invaluable lesson you have collectively taught me is the art of gentleness amidst the chaos. In acknowledging my own imperfections and embracing selflessness, I've come to realize that, like you, I am in a perpetual state of honing virtue. I stumble, make mistakes, and occasionally say or do things that I later regret.

When things get shaky and tempers flare, I find myself leaning into God’s gentle whispering to be still with you and listen. The gentle whisperings of  steering the ship towards resolution instead of more conflict.The cadence of our interactions has shifted for the better, and as we collectively strive to nurture patience and gentleness, I want you to understand that my intentions are sincere, and I am genuinely putting forth my best effort.

In the tapestry of our shared journey, I hope you can remember that, above all, I am trying my best. More importantly, it is because of you that I am able to acknowledge my weaknesses; it is because of you that I have a deeper understanding of love and mercy. 

With all my love,

Mom

Welcome to Artifact Motherhood. This is a collaboration of artists from around the world who have come together to share our stories of the joys and struggles of our journey. Through our writings and visual records we want to create memories that are more than photographs with dates written on the back. These are the artifacts we are leaving behind for our children and for generations to come.

Go next to the wonderful artist, Kirsty Larmour read her post in our blog circle.

Season of Motherhood October 2023

Timeless

I've always had a fondness for capturing moments when my children are peacefully asleep; my son E is no exception. This passion recently led me on a treasure hunt through our family photo archives, where I uncovered moments of him in his toddlerhood, blissfully tucked in under an old comforter that is long gone.

As I lovingly compiled this series, what struck me was the beautiful consistency in E’s sleeping habits. Even now, as he continues to grow and mature into the tumultuous-tweens, he finds solace in the same familiar comfort of  my old comforter pillows, his beloved stuffed beagle, Martha, and his well used and worn baby blanket.

These heartwarming pictures serve as a poignant reminder that, amidst the ever-changing seasons of childhood and motherhood, some things remain timeless.

Welcome to Artifact Motherhood. This is a collaboration of artists from around the world who have come together to share our stories of the joys and struggles of our journey. Through our writings and visual records we want to create memories that are more than photographs with dates written on the back. These are the artifacts we are leaving behind for our children and for generations to come.

Go next to the wonderful artist, Jo Haycock to read her post in our blog circle.

Artifact Motherhood September 2023

Authentic Friendships

Dear Little Loves,

I vividly remember, as a little girl, the yearning for a sister–a constant companion who would share in my delight among dolls and dress-up clothes. In truth, I come from a family of all boys. This required me to forge deep, authentic friendships.I sought out women who love one another unconditionally, a village of feminine genius with the desire to walk beside one another through joys and struggles and without judgments. I sought out women who effortlessly picked up the rhythm right where we left off. I look at you two, and I think about how important it is to learn how to forge authentic friendships. While you have one another to practice, I realize that these connections I've cultivated over the years are truly a testament to the strength of the bonds formed beyond family ties.

As I reminisce about my early childhood days, I'm reminded of the resilience that grew within me as I navigated a predominantly male household. The absence of a sisterly figure compelled me to seek out kindred spirits among my female friends. These friendships have been a source of immense support and camaraderie throughout various chapters of my life. They've allowed me to experience the joys and complexities of womanhood through shared stories and aspirations, laughter, and struggles.

Observing the two of you, I'm reminded of the ability we all possess to nurture and sustain authentic connections. Your sisterly bond serves as a constant reminder that the foundation of a genuine friendship lies in unwavering acceptance, empathy, and the willingness to both celebrate and weather life's storms together. Just as you learn and grow from each other, my journey has shown me the transformative power of forming bonds with women who exemplify the authentic essence of friendship.

In a world that often emphasizes competition and superficiality, the relationships we cultivate among women hold a unique place. These connections serve as a safe haven where vulnerability is welcomed, dreams are nurtured, and support is unwavering. Your sisterly companionship mirrors the beauty of such friendships, reinforcing the significance of being each other's confidantes, motivators, and allies.

So, as you two embark on this journey together, remember that the value of your bond extends far beyond the confines of family ties. It symbolizes the strength that emerges when two individuals choose to stand by one another with open hearts and open minds. Just as I've treasured the friendships I've cultivated, your sisterhood is a testament to the fact that authentic connections have the power to shape our lives in the most profound ways.

Love always,

Mom

Welcome to Artifact Motherhood. This is a collaboration of artists from around the world who have come together to share our stories of the joys and struggles of our journey. Through our writings and visual records we want to create memories that are more than photographs with dates written on the back. These are the artifacts we are leaving behind for our children and for generations to come.

Go next to the wonderful artist Tanae Sorenson to read her post in our blog circle.

Season of Motherhood June 2023 Rooted

Rooted

Dear loves,

I feel a strong  call to rest this summer; I didn’t sign you up for summer camps or fill our family schedule to the brim with entertainment. No my dears, our days are filled with quiet and stillness. We have dirt under our feet and fingernails. These summer days are full of endless discussions about grasshoppers, the masters of disguise, and the ways in which deep, well drained root systems keep our vegetables, herbs and flowers healthy and productive.

I want you to consider the treasures that await to be discovered in the quiet of our yard: the difference in a bird’s song at the break of dawn and twilight of dusk, the feeling of cool grass between our toes on a hot summer day, how a spider's web glistens in golden light.  I want your memories ROOTED here, rooted in the summer we took rest and refuge in our garden together.  My intention is that  we will learn how to take care of our mental, physical and spiritual root systems, as we practice dwelling in the quiet and stillness of our days. 

The world is only getting noisier and overstimulation is more prevalent. My hope is that when you are called to a season of rest, especially in your adult life, the stillness won’t be so foreign. You will know how to deeply water your root system, to keep you healthy, well-grounded, and ready to bear fruit.

Stay rooted. 

Love,

Mom

Welcome to Artifact Motherhood. This is a collaboration of artists from around the world who have come together to share our stories of the joys and struggles of our journey. Through our writings and visual records we want to create memories that are more than photographs with dates written on the back. These are the artifacts we are leaving behind for our children and for generations to come.

Go next to the wonderful artist,Jo Haycock to read her post in our blog circle.

Artifact Motherhood May 2023

Dear L ,

As long as I can remember I have always wanted to be an educator. When I was in the third or fourth grade, my mother would bring home her old grade books for me to play with.  I would set up a classroom in my room complete with a library and a card catalog.  When it was time for college, naturally I gravitated towards education. It was through the discernment process  and a few doors closing, that I landed in the field of special education (mild-moderate). I remember sitting in one of my field study classes and getting into deep discussion about the nuances between Autism Spectrum Disorder, dyslexia, and ADHD.  I remember thinking to myself, how fascinating it would be to work with and mold these minds. It was my perspective, then and now, that neurodivergence is untapped potential and creativity. These minds possess new ways of seeing the world that the neurotypical couldn't fathom. I find it beautiful, unique and inspiring. 

I would have never imagined that 11 years later  I would be sitting in your therapist's office as she pointed to a painting on her wall. 

“What do you see, Mrs. Stokes?”

I replied, “A painting of a lonely horse.” We discussed the painting in detail. 

“Do you know what your son sees?”

“A horse.”

“No, he sees a black and white painting. Have you ever heard of Autism Spectrum Disorder?”

It’s almost been a year since this conversation about ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder). I can not say that the news was an easy pill for me to swallow. As an educator, I knew exactly the world you faced. It was not the world I imagined for you. As your mother, I felt guilty that I didn’t see it coming. It is my natural inclination that your life should be carefree and easy, in the sense that the grass is always green and there is continual sunshine. It’s hard for me to watch any of my children struggle with academics or social emotional intelligence deficits. I naturally want to go in, right away, and fix and kiss away any suffering. 

L , I have to do something or walk the path to understand that something on a deeper level.  My experience with Dyslexia, ADHD, or ASD, is no different.  The summer after your diagnosis,  I grappled with the literature and therapies. It dawned on me,  I could go out into the world and use this hard-won degree I earned 11 years ago in hopes that by walking the path, it would lead me to a deeper understanding of neurodivergence, which I desperately craved. 

The truth is, sometimes I am scared. Sometimes I am scared that I don’t have what it takes to meet each and every one of your needs–to talk you out of a loop or handle a matter of fact disagreement. To teach you to understand and think outside of a black and white box in a world that operates in the gray.  In the subsequent months of teaching special education at  the highschool level, I witnessed, first hand, that by serving my students, I can come home and better serve you, teaching you in the gray isn’t as daunting of a task.

Thank you for being the driving force and inspiration to my purpose, as  both a mother and an educator. Thank you for the challenges we have faced together and opportunities that have stretched my endurance and understanding. Teaching me about your world, hasn’t and will-not always be easy and warm. It is my hope,  when you find this letter someday, you will have the ability to read between the lines and discover the gray. Discover that a big part of my decision to go back into education was to see and understand your world on a deeper level. It was not   YOU that needed to understand the gray,  I needed to see and understand the black and white. 

Please stay exactly as you are: wonderfully and beautifully made. 

Love,

Mom

Welcome to Artifact Motherhood. This is a collaboration of artists from around the world who have come together to share our stories of the joys and struggles of our journey. Through our writings and visual records we want to create memories that are more than photographs with dates written on the back. These are the artifacts we are leaving behind for our children and for generations to come.

Go next to the wonderful artist, Diana Hagues to read her post in our blog circle.

Season of Motherhood February 2023

Savoring

Unexpected winter weather put a pause on the weight and urgency of weekly schedules. I find myself welcoming the break and leaning in to slow moving days. I take pleasure in the stillness of my littles curled up next to me, soaking in the unstructured, creative play and warm goods fresh from the oven. The winter weather ushered in an impromptu and much needed recharge–a moment to savor the moments I didn’t realize I deeply craved.

Welcome to Artifact Motherhood. This is a collaboration of artists from around the world who have come together to share our stories of the joys and struggles of our journey. Through our writings and visual records we want to create memories that are more than photographs with dates written on the back. These are the artefacts we are leaving behind for our children and for generations to come. Go next to the wonderful artist Caro Wellings to read her post in our blog circle.

Artifact Motherhood September 2022

In the Weeds

I have written about it before; the end of summer and cusp of fall is always a time of transition for us. This year is no exception. The wildness of summer slips away slowly, and we embrace more civilized routines. Time is always moving forward, and I find myself reflecting on all of the changes and insights we, as a family, have gleaned over the past decade 

I think it’s common for a young mother to say “no one prepared me for…..”. During those first few years, I remember telling myself,  “it’s only hard for a little while. When they are older and more independent it will get better”. The truth is double digits are just as difficult to navigate. The burden of this stage presents itself in an entirely different way. I may not be sleep deprived, but the mental capacity to deal with the bombardment of attitudes, arguments, and lack of social skills are just as energy depleting. This season is accompanied by the same yearnings for rest that I experienced as a new mother. I find myself saying again, “ it’s only hard for a little while, when they are older and more independent it will get better…” 

I can finally see the pattern. I don’t believe the challenges of parenting will ever cease. I don’t believe raising children, even into adulthood, will stop being strenuous. Although we have not come to those chapters, I imagine this pattern to continue, manifesting in a different way.

The stressors of parenthood are beautiful opportunities to love-harder. To love into those spaces in my heart that opened up when you were born. I couldn't fathom how love could grow and would continue to grow everytime I exercise these muscles. I could not have fathomed how  sacrificial and sacred the journey would have been for me. I am not the same woman I was 10 years ago. Looking back, I am proud of all of the challenges I  have overcome and endured. Because of you, my little loves, I am better for it. 

So while we are in the weeds of the tweens, I will stop telling myself it will get better, and  embrace this time TODAY with great love and patience. It is in this process of endurance that I have grown in wisdom and, above all, love.

Welcome to Artifact Motherhood. This is a collaboration of artists from around the world who have come together to share our stories of the joys and struggles of our journey. Through our writings and visual records we want to create memories that are more than photographs with dates written on the back. These are the artifacts we are leaving behind for our children and for generations to come.

Go next to the wonderful artist, Diana Hagues to read her post in our blog circle.

Artifact Motherhood May 2022

Dear E,

Sometimes you catch me off guard and your mannerisms stop me in my tracks. When this happens, you can bet there is a knot in the pit of my throat as my eyes begin to glaze over. Little mannerisms,  your stride as you walk out of a room,  the way you cross your legs when you relax or concentrate, a goofy face you make… it’s just like him, my dad. Then there are your interests, your creativity or the way you point out a beautiful sunrise and bask in awe of its natural beauty, just like him. But above all is your ability to empathize with anyone or situation, this is profoundly like him. The purity of your heart to help others and encourage them along is captivating. You will drop anything to help, with a smile on your face and heart of joy. 

  This afternoon you comforted your sister. She had made a mistake and you gently walked over to her and explained that beautiful things can come from mistakes.  My back got a little straighter as I stopped the meal prepping and turned an ear to listen. 

“I made a painting just the other day, I made a huge mistake right here.” You showed your sister your canvas, “see, that’s not supposed to be like that, but I continued to paint and made it into something beautiful. You can do the same.”

E, your ability to go deep within the empathetic places of your heart is truly something to behold. I only wish you had gotten to build a relationship with the man you remind me of every single day. While bittersweet, I wish my father knew of the lasting legacy of kindness he passed along…  I know he is beaming down upon you. The tenderness of your heart not only makes me proud, but would have made him proud too.

Love,

Mom

Welcome to Artifact Motherhood. This is a collaboration of artists from around the world who have come together to share our stories of the joys and struggles of our journey. Through our writings and visual records, we want to create memories that are more than photographs with dates written on the back. These are the artifacts we are leaving behind for our children and for generations to come. Up next is the amazingly talented Jessie Nelson click here to follow the link.

Season of Motherhood April 2022

A dear friend of mine asked me if my heart ached  to put your crib away.  It is not that my heart aches to put it away, it aches because I measure time with the things you outgrow. Your big girl bed seems to swallow you up. The same thought crossed my mind when I laid you in your crib for the first time. There was so much space! You’ll outgrown this space too someday, sooner than I’d prefer… ahhhh there it is…the ache.

Welcome to Artifact Motherhood. This is a collaboration of artists from around the world who have come together to share our stories of the joys and struggles of our journey. Through our writings and visual records we want to create memories that are more than photographs with dates written on the back. These are the artefacts we are leaving behind for our children and for generations to come. Go next to the wonderful artist Kirsty Larmour to read her post in our blog circle.

Ray

Family Portraits

“They didn’t have you where I come from
Never knew the best was yet to come
Life began when I saw your face
And I hear your laugh like a serenade
How long do you want to be loved
Is forever enough, is forever enough
How long do you want to be loved
Is forever enough
’Cause I’m never, never giving you up”

— Lullaby- Dixie Chicks

The chemistry of this family was truly something to behold, it just pours out of each and every image captured during this golden dreamy November family portrait session.

Season of Motherhood February 2022

Inflate

Photography has and always will be my form of prayer. Deep within the more vulnerable places of my heart, I’ve always found it poetic that I was bestowed the gift of painting with light. There was a time-not long ago that I found the rhythm of my vocation as a wife and mother irresistibly inspiring. It was from this deep place of love that my creatively flowed. If I am being honest, it’s been a long time since I have felt I could freely create from this place of joy. I see you beckoning me back and I hear the whisperings on my heart. Light is penetrating palaces I’ve felt more comfortable leaving tucked away. There is no freedom in hiding now is there? Inflate- this is my season.

Welcome to Artifact Motherhood. This is a collaboration of artists from around the world who have come together to share our stories of the joys and struggles of our journey. Through our writings and visual records we want to create memories that are more than photographs with dates written on the back. These are the artefacts we are leaving behind for our children and for generations to come. Go next to the wonderful artist Min Mohd to read her post in our blog circle.

In- Home Storytelling Session

In-Home Storytelling Session

“I feel like my memory is completely shot at times, but when I look at a photo, every detail from that moment comes back to me. I want to be able to look at the photos of us in our home together and remember how precious that time is of just day-to-day life.”

— SH

I had the honor and pleasure of traveling to Oklahoma City to document this sweet and precious family. Oh the stories this home illustrates, moments full of love, laughter, books, warm snuggles and sweet treats.

Munster

In-home Storytelling Session

What does an in-home storytelling session with three boys under 5 years old look like? Energy, silliness, soccer balls, brownies (who needs directions?), spatula licks, messy faces, bubble bath beards, books and, of course, a baby with sweet dreamy snuggles. In-home storytelling means getting comfortable in your beautiful chaos. It’s understanding that you will pour over these memories years, maybe even decades from now, and appreciate the beauty of being present with your family because your reality is beautiful, your reality is worth documenting.

Deheck

Family Portraits

An October trip to Fort Worth, Texas to visit friends and family took us on an adventure in the Fort Worth Stockyards, an old stomping ground of mine. It was somewhat surreal to be a tourist, with my own family, in the town I grew up in. We watched the cattle drive, ate some delicious fudge from Texas Hot Stuff, and enjoyed the sights and sounds of the Wild West. I also had the honor of photographing a family near and dear to my heart.

Claire & Miles

Engagement Session

I met Claire when I was volunteering in high school youth ministry. Back then, she was a beautiful, outgoing, sweet, freshman in high school. Today she has blossomed into a beautiful young woman just weeks away from her wedding day. It came as no surprise to me when she requested a dual location shoot for her engagement session. The first to take place at the Tulsa state fair, and the second to take place downtown. I absolutely adore how these turned out. Personality and chemistry absolutely shines through these images!

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Neupauer

Half day in the Life

Children change so much–especially in the first few years of life. The thing that attracts clients to a documentary session is the art of preserving these fleeting memories and moments. Mothers are usually the memory keepers, the force behind the photograph and Facebook memories. What makes a half-day “in the life” so unique is that we have the opportunity to move out from behind the curtain and into the spotlight with their family. Doing the things that they love and creating lasting memories. Proof that they were there too!  

In September, I had the pleasure of photographing a family who temporarily moved from Germany to Tulsa. This is a little slice of their family’s Saturday routine–moments full of cuddles, kisses, silliness, fun, and the intimate gestures unique to this family. Someday, these pictures will evoke memories of days and weekends in America. Memories of  how much they love their boys and one other.

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Artifact Motherhood October 2021

Presence

I woke up welcoming the light today; this is what I discovered. The sun made itself at home behind a blanket of gray sky, peeking out every now and then from behind it's cover. Soft-diffused light poured into my bedroom-- a place I rarely photograph. As the stomach flu ravaged our home, I couldn't help but notice how the light felt peaceful in the midst of churning bellies and toilet bowls. As if on cue, the sun came out from behind the clouds for a moment and a tiny rainbow appeared on my son's throw-up bowl. When I thought beauty elusive on such a gray day, she appeared in the most unlikely of places. I only needed to open my eyes and look. I lingered longer than I expected and was truly present.

Welcome to Artifact Motherhood. This is a collaboration of artists from around the world who have come together to share our stories of the joys and struggles of our journey. Through our writings and visual records, we want to create memories that are more than photographs with dates written on the back. These are the artifacts we are leaving behind for our children and for generations to come. Up next is the amazingly talented Jess Cheetham click here to follow the link. https://www.jesscheetham.com/blog/family-caravan-holiday-artifact-motherhood-blog-october-2021

Project 365 August